1. |
Horse Shit
04:12
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I see your picture on my homepage
I find that I can't look away
I didn't think it would hurt this much,
But I'm fine, I'm fine let's stay in touch.
I can't complain about the guy you chose
He seems pretty cool I suppose
In my head he seems a lot like me
but I project myself into your selfies
I can't escape you
I can't replace you
I can't block you out
But I guess I don't know how
This song started as one thing,
but then I started getting sad and couldn't sing
So I wrote a shitty metaphor and tried to change it up
But I can't ignore
That I can't escape you
I can't replace you
I can't seem to block you out
I guess I don't know how
You're a princess and I'm a knave
You take while I save and slave away
You're kinda like a cliche song
with cliche words and I'll sing along
And you're stuck in my head
You're stuck in my head
I can't seem to tune you out
I guess I don't know how
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2. |
Hell
02:04
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Everybody wants me to come hang out.
Everybody wants me to come to town.
If they only knew that's not easy for me to do,
They would know why I don't come around.
If you marry him, I know that it will end me.
If you marry him, I'll do it to myself.
If you only knew how many times I've thought of you,
You would never have put me through this hell.
Everybody wants me to come hang out.
Everybody wants me to come to town.
But if they only knew the awful shit you put me through,
They would know why I don't come around.
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3. |
||||
A good mood is hard to find
when you're spending all your time in bed.
You spent your whole damn day in it.
You won't be a socialite.
You refuse to go outside.
You spent the day in bed feeling hideous.
Faking smiles to seem polite
Do your least but still getting by
You can't wait to get to bed
You cancelled all your plans
The faking piles until you feel phony
You exile until you are lonely laying in your bed
You cancelled your plans again.
A good mood is hard to find
but I've got you and that's all right.
We spent the day in bed feeling innocent.
(I'm dating my depression.
I thought I learned my lesson,
but I keep letting her sleep over.
I thought we were on a split right now,
but I still feel like shit some how.
And I keep letting her sleep over.)
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4. |
If You Want to Die
03:58
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If you want to die, take a selfie and put it online
It will get about 44 likes
(enough to validate living your life)
if you want to die.
If you feel unloved, swipe around til you develop a crush
Play it cool and don't tell her too much
if you feel unloved.
If you're feeling down, your opinions are structurally sound.
Your echo chamber will hold up your crown
if you're feeling down.
If you're feeling dead cuz all the stimuli's fucked with your head.
Charge your phone and lie in your bed,
if you're feeling dead.
If you feel depressed, you should take a personality test.
You'll confirm that you're just nervous and stressed
if you feel depressed.
If you still want to die, you can livestream your suicide.
If no one views it, you're not justified,
You'll have to keep on living your life
if you want to die.
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5. |
Demon Dreams
02:21
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I saw you dreaming--well, you were in mine.
I hope you and me were dreaming at the same time.
Yeah, you were with me, but so were demons.
I hear them in my hallway cackling and screaming
"We might be empty inside. Come and break us open.
Go ahead and dip your fingers. Feel how well I'm flowing."
Get yourself a pistol. Pick out a revolver.
Play Russian Roulette with your brand new problem solver.
Now you're not with me. I hope I'm still dreaming.
I hope you'll be beside me when I wake up screaming
"I think I'm empty inside. Come and break me open.
Go ahead and dip your fingers. Feel how well I'm flowing."
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6. |
Ugly Bones
04:04
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I’m a different person when I’m sinking.
but I can’t stop picking up these stones
do you know what ever I’ve been thinking?
I've been feeling ugly in my bones
Last week I saw the sun and moon were kissing
my eyes were slits while looking at the glow
I didn’t know I’d see something so pretty
or that it would make me feel alone
I've been feeling ugly in my bones
I've been feeling ugly in my bones
Sometimes I just can't find my feelings
I’m not sure where they decide to go
Do you know what it is I’m feeling?
I've been feeling ugly in my bones.
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7. |
Insomnia
03:58
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Got a friend who only sleeps in trees, but she doesn't go outside. Well, ya see, she never sleeps, but she says she's all right. She says she dreams such awful things when she tries to sleep inside. Eyes wide open every day, too dry to even cry, and she says she "couldn't be happier."
Got a friend who smokes cigarettes every single day. Yeah, he knows that they're bad for his health, but he smokes them anyway. He doesn't mind that he coughs a lot, he says "We only live to die." Well, I guess it's his life, he can live it how he likes. And he says he "couldn't be happier."
"And all I want is to be a happy man."
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8. |
Clumsy Dancer
02:52
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When my ear drum's in need of tuning
and all the bones have turned to dust
will I still see Styx when I'm dreaming?
Will I still hear you call me Buss?
No, I don't think there's a God above me,
or else I must've made him mad,
because he takes everything I think is lovely
and smashes them all in his hand.
When my body is full of cancer
from all the sunshine and the drugs
will you still be my clumsy dancer,
take my hand, and be my love?
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9. |
PPSSP
03:25
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Dear Esperanza,
I can't help starin at ya,
but you don't listen to a word I say.
My accent won't let me
pronounce your name correctly
so please don't hate me, Espe. Let me stay.
One of you inside that head is capable of love,
but it ain't the one I found when I woke up.
Art made from porno mags,
blue jeans, and Wal-Mart bags.
You paint a picture for me everyday.
Blue balls and red flags.
Your eyes are brown, but your heart is black.
I don't know who you're going to be today.
And P.S. Espe, I thought I had good luck,
but the only thing I found was forty bucks.
Dear Esperanza,
I can't help starin at ya,
but you don't listen to a word I say.
Dear Esperanza,
I think that I can't stand ya
cuz I don't believe a single word you say.
P.P.S. Espe, if you don't want my love
I need to know. Don't waste my time, please hurry up.
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10. |
Lovefaker
01:56
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You always want to be near me
I don't know why I'm always distant
I am numb when you touch me
I can't allow myself to be happy
I can make you feel loved,
but if I'm always faking it,
it isn't enough.
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11. |
Listmaker
03:16
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I made a list of the things I need.
I wrote "Money" and "Self Esteem."
And I could use a half ounce of weed.
But—that’s a want and not a need.
I gotta get my priorities
in order, so it seems.
Cuz I'm running from my dreams,
and it's making me feel mean.
It's making me feel mean.
It's making me blow smoke.
I can hear you laughing.
You laugh, but it's no joke.
You made a list of the things I need.
You wrote "God" and "a degree."
you didn't write down "therapy,"
Cuz you just want what's best for me.
I put my trust in authority.
Thought I was destined to succeed.
Then I realized that your dreams
just weren't right for me.
You thought you could save me
Shoving shit right down my throat.
Well I don't need your father,
your son, or Holy Ghost.
I bought a book on anarchy.
That's a little bit of irony.
But I was hoping to find the key
or something to believe.
I made a list of the things I need
I wrote them down:
1. _____
2. _____
3. _____
But I left the lines empty
to reflect the current "me."
My tank is on empty.
My heart is out of hope.
I know that you are laughing,
but I'm the writer of the joke.
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12. |
I'm Fine, I'm Fine
02:43
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I took your t-shirt and I didn't give it back.
That was pretty petty, so I guess I'll give you that.
You send me messages and ask if I'm okay.
I'm reluctant to reply, but then I finally say
"You left your footprints on the window of my car
and I would always see them when the defrost fogged them up.
You send me messages and ask if I'm okay.
I'm reluctant to reply, but then I finally say
'I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
You're always on my mind, but I'm fine.'"
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13. |
Settle
02:44
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I would settle for an impersonation of you:
a smile that differs a little,
brown eyes instead of blue.
They don't have to look the same
(God forbid they share your name),
a simple resemblance will do.
I don't want them to play guitar
or leave footprints in my car.
These things--they can't take away from you.
I would settle for an impersonation of you:
a smile that differs a little,
brown eyes instead of blue.
----
I am tired of these nightmares,
and the good dreams never come true.
But I would rather have nightmares
when all of my good dreams are of you.
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